Chilling messages from mother of missing three-year-old boy revealed after ‘allowing’ boyfriend to teach him how to ‘be a man’

Warning: This article contains discussion of child abuse which some readers may find distressing.

Text conversations between the mom of Elijah Vue and her boyfriend shortly before the three-year-old disappeared has been revealed.

In February earlier this year, toddler Elijah Vue was reported missing by his mother’s boyfriend, Jesse Vang.

On September 13, police confirmed skeletal remains found in Two Rivers, Wisconsin belonged to Elijah and the toddler’s cause of death was later ruled as ‘homicide by unspecified means’.



A complaint filed by Manitowoc County prosecutors – obtained by ABC 15 News – states Vang called 911 and said he was ‘babysitting’ Elijah when he ‘fell asleep’ and woke up to find the child missing.

Vang told authorities he had been ‘trying to help’ Elijah’s mom, Katrina Baur, ‘correct’ Elijah’s ‘behaviors’ and Baur confirmed her son had been in Vang’s care for a week.

However, after law enforcement went through both Vang and Baur’s phones, they found data which contradicted statements given by the pair.

The complaint states Baur’s phone location data didn’t corroborate her statement as she hadn’t been in the Manitowoc area on February 16-17.

And alarming text messages between the couple were also uncovered.

Elijah Vue passed away at the age of three (Two Rivers Police Department)

One text conversation between the pair dated as taking place on February 17 saw Vang tell Baur he ‘is angry that [Elijah] overfiled his diaper with poop and pee and that Vang gave [Elijah] a cold shower’.

“Vang noted that [Elijah] was clean but scared,” the complaint continues.

Section 13 of the complaint reads: “On February 18, 2024 at approximately 4:36 AM Jesse Vang messages Katrina Baur: ‘I told you to trust me.. I’m a make sure he hates me and being here’. She responded: ‘Don’t want him to *hate* YOU. Just fear you’.

“Jesse responds: ‘It’s ok. Some one had to be the bad person.’ Katrina messaged: ‘I know but either way at he can fear you and respect you.’ Jesse messaged: ‘He did fear me..but he didn’t respect me..now I’m making him respect me.'”

In an interview with authorities, Baur said Vang ‘was the enforce[r] of the rules in the relationship’ and ‘that was the reason for sending [Elijah] to stay with’ him.

Elijah’s mom said Vang was teaching him ‘how to be a man’ (Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Office)

While she claims she ‘discussed with [Vang] the limits of what discipline she did not want used’, she said she was ‘fine with whatever discipline Vang enforces’.

She gave examples of discipline including praying, saying he was sorry and going over four rules to ‘memorise’.

A photograph shared between Vang and Baur over Facebook allegedly shows Elijah ‘standing in corner in diaper only, hands appear to be in a praying position and the diaper looks full’.

“Baur stated she wanted Vang to teach [Elijah] by example how to be a man,” she said.

And Vang even said Elijah was ‘afraid of him’ before trying to ‘correct himself’ and say the child ‘respect[ed]’ him.

Baur has since been charged with obstructing an officer, chronic neglect of a child (consequence is death) and child neglect.

Vang has been charged with obstructing an officer, physical abuse of a child-repeated acts causing death and hiding a corpse.

If you’ve been affected by any of these issues or want to speak to someone in confidence regarding the welfare of a child, the Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and receives calls from throughout the United States, Canada, US Virgin Islands, Guam and Puerto Rico.