Warning: This article contains discussion of emotional abuse which some readers may find distressing
Anna Kendrick explained why she thinks warnings about red flags can be a bit ‘victim-blamey’.
The actor is known by many for her roles in rom-coms such as Pitch Perfect and What to Expect When You’re Expecting, however, the 39-year-old’s role in a 2022 release saw her take on a very contrasting storyline and one which struck a personal chord with the actor.
Appearing on an episode of Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast, Kendrick was asked about her role in Alice, Darling (2022).
The movie sees the Twilight star star as the titular character and the story centers around Alice and her navigation of her relationship with emotionally abusive boyfriend Simon.
And the role was a particularly challenging one for Kendrick to navigate given she’d only just recently come out of her own difficult relationship.
Kendrick explained to Cooper: “It was like pushing myself off a cliff and not giving myself the time to go, ‘Is this a good choice?’ It was really scary and personal.”
The actor argued she felt like she ‘needed’ to do the movie but didn’t tell ‘anyone’ in her life – including her therapist and friends – the movie she was making was ‘about emotional abuse’ because she’d ‘just gotten out of a relationship that was extremely similar to the movie’.
Anna Kendrick’s role in ‘Alice, Darling’ struck a personal chord with the actor (Lionsgate)
“And I didn’t want anybody to tell me to not do it,” she added.
The actor then opened up further about the relationship she left after seven years.
Kendrick explained the relationship ‘didn’t follow the traditional pattern’ which is part of the reason she found it ‘really difficult to identity it and name it as abusive’.
“It was like an overnight switch. That went on for about a year. It didn’t follow that more traditional – it’s like a frog in boiling water thing where it started slow. It came out of absolutely nowhere but was built on this foundation of I had so much love and trust for that person,” she continued.
So sudden was the shift and subsequently conflicting with her feelings, Kendrick says she initially questioned and blamed herself.
“I thought it had to be me. If one of us was crazy it has to be me,” she added. “It was very, very difficult to actually go, ‘No, I think this is him. I think this is his stuff.'”
The actor said she ‘turned [her] life completely upside down’ in a bid to ‘fix whatever was wrong with [her]’ which wasn’t helped by the pair’s couple’s therapist.
Kendrick explained her ex-partner was able to ‘stay calm’ in therapy sessions ‘in a way that he [did] not do’ outside of the room and in turn, the therapist ‘bought his stuff’.
Kendrick has opened up about warnings surrounding red flags (Jason Mendez/Getty Images)
The therapist has since apologized to the actor and ‘realized what was going on towards the end’.
She admitted it’s ‘really complicated’ for her to talk about and ‘hard’ because there are still times when she talks about the relationship and still questions: “Am I making that up? Am I making everything up?”
She resolved it’s ‘important’ to share warnings and talk about ‘red flags’ but notes the conversations around signs to look out for can be ‘victim-blamey’.
“How is it that we’re meant to be inside the mind of someone who is working very hard to make sure that you feel very unsteady and are questioning yourself?” she said.
As a result, Kendrick won’t even consider ‘getting involved with a man’ – not even kissing or having ‘a real conversation’ – unless they’re ‘in or have been in therapy’.
Amen to that.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, please know that you are not alone. You can talk in confidence 24 hours a day to the national domestic violence helpline on 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 24/7. You can find a list of local resources here.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. Call or text 988 to reach a 24-hour crisis center or you can webchat at 988lifeline.org. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741.
