Warning: This article contains discussion of alcoholism that some may find distressing
When it comes to the holiday seasons, for many it can be an incredibly tough time to cope.
With the dark days weighing down on us all and anyone who’s recently lost family knowing just how hard this time of year can be, it is a period where any existing problems can be really accentuated. One of these which can become worse around the holidays is alcohol.
Whether it be mulled wine, a drink with Christmas dinner, the Christmas Eve pub trip, everyone gifting one another bottles of booze, Britain’s holiday season is inextricably linked to booze.
As such, it can make people worry about their loved ones who may struggle with their drinking over the holidays.
Elizabeth Walker, a professional recovery coach, recently spoke to The Sun, in which they outlined the eight signs that someone you love could be approaching becoming an alcoholic.
Here are the eight signs if you were growing concerned about your partner, or simply someone you love…
1. Alcohol has become a major priority
If your partner’s main priority is alcohol, this can be a cause for concern.
Elizabeth said: “It seems that alcohol has become more important in their lives than anything else, even you”.
2. They ‘need’ a drink almost every day
A few nights in a row, especially at Christmas, aren’t necessarily a cause for concern. But if they are displaying a ‘need’ to drink, especially at odd hours, that can be a sign.
Elizabeth says: “You are noticing they are needing to drink every day and maybe even needing a ‘hair of the dog’ in the morning to settle the stomach, nerves or to stop the shaky hands.
“Not every ‘alcoholic’ is a daily drinker though. Maybe they are able to go without drinking during the week, but once the bottle of wine is open on Friday evening, this starts a weekend of continuous or excessive drinking.”
3. One drink is never enough
A commonly pointed out sign of an alcoholic is never being able to stop at one drink.
Elizabeth told The Sun: “They aren’t able to have just one glass of wine with dinner or one beer at the bar, but seem to ‘have’ to continue drinking, even when they have said that they will only be having the one.”
If you feel you can never ‘just’ have one, it may be time to consider help.
4. Their drinking patterns have changed over time
If someone’s drinking habits have slowly increased over time, that may sound alarm bells.
“Their drinking patterns have changed, perhaps gradually increasing over the years” says Elizabeth. “They will promise or declare they are going to do Dry January, Stoptober or stop completely, only to give up prematurely and/or return to their old habits and patterns.”
5. They’re irritable if they haven’t had a drink
If your partner seems to have one mood when they’re drinking and a totally other one when they’re not, that is also a cause for concern.
Elizabeth says: “Things to look out for are irritability during the hours when they aren’t drinking and then become instantly relaxed when they are able to have a drink.”
“It may feel a bit like you are living with a Jekyll and Hyde character that changes throughout the day.”
6. They have blackouts and unexplained injuries
Many of us have had that one night where you’ve gone too far and rolled an ankle, woke up with a bruise, or completely forgot the previous night.
If this is becoming a regular thing however, it isn’t normal and could be a cause for concern.
Elizabeth said: “They regularly drink to the point where they pass out, forget what they have done the night before or become physically sick. They may also end up with bumps, bruises and minor injuries they can’t remember getting.”
7. They act secretively around booze
“Over the holiday period, you may notice that they are finding reasons to drink more than you would expect,” warns Elizabeth in the seventh reason.
“Maybe they are starting to lie about not having had a drink or you are noticing them behaving secretively. For example, finding reasons to go out to the shop for groceries when it’s not needed, being out longer than they have said when nipping out on an errand.”
8. They’ll come up with a range of excuses for their drinking – especially at Christmas
When it comes to Christmas, there is already a tonne of built-in reasons to drink.
If someone looks above and beyond even those, it may be a sign of a borderline alcoholic.
“There is nothing more creative and manipulative than someone who has become dependent upon alcohol when it comes to finding a way or reason to drink,” warns Elizabeth. “They may not want to go to family celebrations, especially if they are required to drive. They may start arguments as a way of being able to leave the house or avoid being around other people.
“They may insist that the festivities happen at their house as it means they are in control of the speed and volume of their drinking, without it being ‘noticed’ or commented on by others.”
How do you help?
Elizabeth and the Sun have not just summed up these methods, they have also done their best to try point people to help if this describes you or someone you love.
Elizabeth says that New Year’s Eve may be the best time to raise the issue, saying: “Although this time of year can bring a person’s problem with alcohol to light, Christmas may not be the best time to talk to your loved one about their drinking”.
All in all, look out for your loved ones and be unafraid to have frank conversations with them.
The NHS has several helplines available here if the issues discussed in this article feel close to home for you, or someone you love.
Please drink responsibly. If you want to discuss any issues relating to alcohol in confidence, contact Drinkline on 0300 123 1110, 9am–8pm weekdays and 11am–4pm weekends for advice and support.
