Warning: This article contains discussion of sexual assault which some readers may find distressing.
Grey’s Anatomy star Jack Merrill has opened up to the public about his harrowing experience with a notorious US serial killer, saying “If I’d fought him I would be dead.”
Active between the years of 1972 to 1978 near Chicago, Illinois, John Wayne Gacy was found guilty and convicted of sexually assaulting, torturing and murdering 33 young men and boys.
He was later sentenced to death for his crimes and executed by lethal injection in 1994.
Decades after his ordeal, Law & Order star Merrill, 65, has now decided to reveal that he was assaulted by Gacy at the age of 19, after accepting a ride in his car one evening.
Sharing the account with PEOPLE, Merrill explained that he had been walking home after swimming when a car pulled alongside of him and offered a lift.
The driver was Gacy, who has often been referred to as ‘The Killer Clown’ due to his work as a clown prior to being discovered.
He then recalled how Gacy instructed him to lock the car door as it was ‘dangerous’ outside, questioned if he’d ever taken ‘poppers’ before knocking him unconscious with a liquid splashed onto a flannel.
Merrill then went on to explain that he came round to find himself in handcuffs outside Gacy’s house before the serial killer led him inside, placed him in restraints and began to sexually assault the actor.
Actor Jack Merrill has revealed his experience with a serial killer John Wayne Gacy earlier this week (Greg Doherty/Getty Images)
“I knew if I fought him, I didn’t have much of a chance. I never freaked out or yelled,” Merrill explained.
“I also felt sorry for him in a way, like he didn’t necessarily want to be doing what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop. We’d been there for hours.
“Finally, I could tell he was tiring. All of a sudden he said, ‘I’ll take you home’.”
Merrill then went on to add that Gacy dropped him off in the street and handed over his number before driving off, with the now actor deciding against going to the police (he was unaware that Gacy was a serial killer at the time) and made a pact to himself to ‘get past this’.
The actor then went on to explain that he chose not to open up to his parents due to his difficult home circumstances and relationship with his parents, only confiding to his sister.
John Wayne Gacy raped, tortured and killed 33 young men and boys (Bureau of Prisons/Getty Images)
Explaining why he had decided to come forward about his experience, Merrill revealed that he’d written a one man show named The Save to tell his story.
He also revealed how he’d previously been made to feel ashamed about what had happened after broaching the idea of telling his story with a Hollywood movie executive.
“He said ‘That’s how you want to be remembered?’,” Merrill recalled. “It stopped me at that time… but then I came to the realisation that it’s my story. It might be ugly, but it’s mine.”
Male Survivors Partnership is available to support adult male survivors of sexual abuse and rape. You can contact the organisation on their website or on their free helpline 0808 800 5005, open 9am–8pm Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays; 8am–8pm Tuesdays and Thursdays; 10am–2pm Saturdays.