A dating expert and matchmaker working with Tinder has revealed two major red flags singletons can look out for while swiping through potential new partners.
With thousands profiles literally at your fingertips, it doesn’t take much for users to send profiles flying left or right.
It might be as little as a cute dog in the picture that wins you over, or the mention of your least favorite movie that banishes someone into the abyss.
With so many people to choose from, it’s easy to give in to these reflexes – but dating expert Paul Brunson has warned that there are two major warning signs people should look out for when scrolling through profiles.
It doesn’t take long to figure out if you like the look of someone on Tinder (Nikolas Kokovlis/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
The draw of online dating
In an interview with UNILAD, Paul expressed belief that internet dating isn’t going anywhere any time soon.
He explained: “If you look at where we spend our time today versus 30 years ago or 50 or 100 years ago, it is predominantly online – and if you look at every bit of forward-looking evidence we are, we’re going to spend even a larger disproportionate amount of our time online…
“So that means that connections are going to happen online.”
Dating profile red flags
Paul might be married, but through working with Tinder, he’s become very familiar with the things people should or shouldn’t be putting on their dating profile.
Incomplete profiles
The first relates simply to the amount of information people are putting on a profile – and while it’s natural not to want to share every little secret online, Paul stressed it is important that users have a complete profile.
“This is big,” he said. “So for example, [having] one photo, as opposed to 3,4,5 photos.”
Incomplete profiles can also come in the form of information boxes that haven’t been filled out, leaving users guessing on some of the simpler details about the person they’re looking at.
Look out for profiles with minimal photos (Getty Stock Photo)
A list of ‘don’ts’
Paul’s second red flag is a profile that ‘outlines everything they don’t want in a partner’.
“It’s like, ‘don’t contact me if you are married. Don’t contact me unless you want blah, blah, blah, blah, blah’.
“Talking about all of the don’ts is a red, as opposed to a green.”
Paul went on to stress that having a list of ‘don’ts’ is different to explaining the values you have when it comes for a relationship, saying: “What you value is a standard, and that’s much different from saying, ‘Don’t contact me if you’re married’.
“What that screams is that this is an insecurity, that ‘I have challenges around trust’. But a non-negotiable is, ‘I’m seeking marriage’.”
Opening up about dating
Paul expressed the importance of ‘expressing who you are’ while dating, and explained that if there’s something you want, then you should be proud and honest about it.
“If it’s something that you value, and you’ve thought about, then go for it,” he said.
But while opening up to potential partners is one thing, opening up to friends and family about dating is another, with Paul noting that ‘our circles are not as tight knit as they were 50, 100 years ago’.
Research conducted by Tinder, in partnership with the NGO NO MORE, found that 75 percent of single women hold back from discussing their dating lives with friends and family, but that 57 percent of single women talk candidly about dating with a stranger while getting their nails done.
Tinder hopes to encourage conversations with its Nailing Dating bar (Tinder)
“We gravitate to those spaces where we can get unbiased feedback,” Paul said.
In an effort to help people open up, Tinder is opening a pop up nail bar, ‘Nailing Dating’, in London, UK from October 25-26. At the salon, guests will be able to take part in free workshops offering advice and coaching on how to have open and honest conversations about dating with your trusted inner circle.
The Tinder ‘Nailing Dating’ nail bar opens in London, 25 – 26 October 2024, with free dating workshops, manicures and nail art. Book at www.nailingdating.com