‘One guy dying isn’t going to ruin the rest of my life’, those are the words of a widow whose husband, and father of her two children, passed away just five months before.
At just 28 years old, Holly Smith, of Morganton in North Carolina, is already widowed after her partner Derek suddenly died in April of a heart attack while he was sleeping on the road as a truck driver.
A widowed mom has been blasted for ‘moving on too quick’ following her husband’s death (Getty Stock Image)
Holly, a wellbeing coach, had a bit of a different reaction to most after she found out her partner had died – within the month she got matching tattoos with her sister which read ‘joy’ – explaining in one of her Instagram Reel’s that she ‘chooses joy’ instead of grief.
However, she has received backlash online for seemingly ‘moving on so quickly’.
One user commented on one of her TikTok videos: “Your husband just died, why are you acting like everything is fine?”
To which Holly replied by narrating over a video of her baking with her and Derek’s kids, aged two and five.
She said: “Because he’s not my God, because one guy dying isn’t going to ruin the rest of my life.
“One bad thing isn’t going to ruin you either. What has happened that leads you to think that everything is feeling bad and dark and depressy? We got to fix it, you got to root it out. You got to start walking toward something better.
The North Carolina mom has uploaded videos since her husband’s death explaining that she ‘chooses joy’ (Getty Stock Image)
“Stop living in the past stop living in your head and start walking towards a better future and a better tomorrow because I promise you.
“If you will start looking forward to something and create a reason to wake up everyday beyond just survival, you will start to feel feelings of happiness and joy again.”
The video has been seen more than 900,000 times since it was uploaded in September, and just over 4,900 comments have already been made.
One user commented: “I just lost my husband of 21 years last year. I know grief looks different for everyone, but he will never be ‘just one guy dying’ to me.”
While another typed: “My husband died unexpectedly 4 years ago and never would I EVER refer to it as ‘just one man dying’. It’s a whole life we had planned dying. I know that grief looks different for everyone but wow!”
Speaking about the criticism she has received in an interview with TODAY, Holly explained: “I don’t even feel defensive.
“I know that the way I think is different from how other people think.”
The mom-of-two also revealed that she ‘refused to grieve’.
Keep it moving, don’t live in the past ✌🏻
“I have mourned the loss of my husband. I have mourned the loss of my marriage and the nine years that we spent building a life together,” Holly continued. “But grief, to me, sounds like pain and suffering.”
Derek was just 31 years old when he passed, and ran a successful trucking company.
Holly added: “I focus on the things that dad was really awesome at.
“And I talk about all his good qualities and how my kids can also use those in their life.”
A GoFundMe page was set up by Holly’s sister to support the late trucker’s family.
It read: “On Saturday 4/13 my sister’s husband Derek passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack while asleep in his truck on the road. Holly is a stay-at-home mom of 2 small children.
“Derek, being a self employed truck driver did not have life insurance and they had no savings. He was a loving father and husband who would never wish this for his wife or children. For those who can offer help, please donate to her family.
“She is already looking for work and will weather this storm with God’s favor. May His love fill your heart each day.”
If you have experienced a bereavement and would like to speak with someone in confidence, contact The Compassionate Friends on (877) 969-0010.
